When I'm Gone
by Mystic Werewolf
Summary: (re-post of previous. Has been hevily edited.) Songfic for Hermione and Severus. The song is When I'm gone by Three Doors Down, and it was mainly a fic writing muse that I left in.


Disclaimer: One, I don't own Harry Potter, nor do I own the song, Three Doors Down does. (Try saying that three times fast.)  
  
Second, there was a part in this story in wich my frustrations at this war with Iraq and at society in general became way too aparent. If it came across to you as racist, I am deeply sorry. I know that Bulgaria is mainly christian, but for my purposes, I placed Krum on the borders, I guess. I will repeat that I am deeply sorry if my comments came across as racist, they are not ment to be, and it has been changed.  
  
*  
  
*****There's another world inside of me that you may never see.  
  
There's secrets in this life that I can't hide.  
  
Somewhere in this darkness there's a life that I can't find.  
  
Maybe it's too far away or maybe I'm just blind, maybe I'm just blind.*****  
  
Severus watched Hermione and her companions as they played in the snow. "It looks as if they're having fun."  
  
It was her against Harry and Ron, and from the indication of the whiteness of the two teens' robes, she was winning. He watched as Harry distracted her, and Ron snuck up behind her, tackling her to the ground.  
  
"Ron! Get off!" Her crystal, alto voice carried over to where he watched, in silence and in secret. "Not you too, Harry!" She asked in amusement as the stocky seventeen year old walked up, grinning at Ron, who was still holding her down.  
  
"You better believe it, girl."  
  
"You've been watching way to many Westerns."  
  
"Yippee kai yay, Hermione." He grinned, dumping an armful of snow over her.  
  
"Damn you." She stood, shaking out her hair.  
  
In the sunlight, it reminded Severus of diamonds set into brown silk, and adorning the ends of lashes that often veiled bright purple eyes. He decided that now would be a good time to talk to her.  
  
"Uh, oh, Hermione. Here comes the hawk-man." Ron teased.  
  
"Ron, shut up." She poked him in the ribs. She had found him earlier last year after he had escaped Voldemort in his hawk form. He had been to week to retransform, and, as no one knew of his alternate form, she had taken care of him as she would have a regular hawk.  
  
"I need to talk to you."  
  
"About what?" She arched an eyebrow.  
  
"You." He met her violet eyes with calm detachment.  
  
"Why? Tall, Dark and Serpentine want me for a sex slave?" She stood, looking at him levelly.  
  
"Almost."  
  
"What?" Ron fell from where he was perched on an iced bench. "Almost? What the bloody hell do you mean, almost?"  
  
"Language Weasly."  
  
"Okay, what the bloomin' hey do you mean, almost?"  
  
"He wants her for a bride."  
  
Hermione snorted. "Why? So he could become like his father? Scorn the mother of his child because she isn't like him? No thank you, I know what Samantha Marvalo Riddle went through, I experianced it with Krum. I'm not about to go through that again." She shook her hair free of the last snow, then stalked inside.  
  
Severus sighed, then walked calmly in, his longer stride easily catching up to her. "Miss Granger, come with me."  
  
"Why should I?" She looked around the hall. "I know what you are, Snape. Do you honestly think I'd be stupid enough to fall into that kind of trap?"  
  
"I'd thought you'd be smart enough to detect the difference between trap and truth." He caught her arm, pulling her around to face him. "You saved my life once, now it's my turn to repay the debt."  
  
"Consider the debt repaid, Mssr. Snape. It was repaid when you convinced me to come to Hogwarts early and leave my family to the Dementors."  
  
"Had I known that He would order them to attack your family, I would have been there personally."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Have you ever thought that there's a possibility that I care for you?" As she met his eyes, he held nothing back.  
  
Hermione gasped at the sheer force of his gaze. She felt stripped of all secrets within her being, and she felt that he was giving her the same honesty in return. She forced herself to look deeper. "You really have been through quite alot, haven't you?" she asked softly, worry touching her eyes.  
  
*****So hold me when I'm here right me when I'm wrong.  
  
Hold me when I'm scared and love me when I'm gone.  
  
Everything I am and everything in me  
  
Wants to be the one you wanted me to be*****  
  
She embraced him, feeling his strong arms around her. "Oh gods, I'm so sorry for all the hell you've been through."  
  
"Shh. It's not your fault. It's my own for being so bloody damned power hungry."  
  
"You could never have known how it would have turned out. He seduced you, just as he tried to seduce Ginny, Harry, and every other poor soul that he's tainted, even Draco."  
  
He could feel the fear coursing through her. Part of it was the mix and rush and strength of emotions pouring through her. Part of it was unnadultered fear of the Dark. "Hermione. You're crying?"  
  
"It's just that he's claimed so many people I once called friends. I still do, even. But I can't tell them the things that matter most. Hell, I can't even tell Harry or Ron."  
  
"Like?"  
  
"Oh I don't know. The fact that I'm so scared, confused. I know I can trust them, but there are some things I'm still not sure about."  
  
He sat down against the cold floor, pulling her with him. "Care to talk?"  
  
"I heard from Krum the other day. He wants me back, and he says that Sherin misses me." She leaned against him, feeling week and exausted. "I love her dearly, but how can I look at her when all it does is remind me of what he did?"  
  
"What gets me angry is that we can't prosocute use of spells like that. We can't talk to the Bulgarian consulate for his area, they're too proud of their national hero." He pulled away slightly. "I don't know why I'm saying this, but I love you, Hermione. I feel as if the only thing that keeps me going sometimes is you."  
  
*****I'll never let you down even if I could.  
  
I'd give up everything if only for your good. So hold me when I'm here right me when I'm wrong.  
  
You can hold me when I'm scared but you won't always be there,  
  
So love me when I'm gone, love me when I'm gone*****  
  
While the thought frightened her, it also comforted her. "Call me crazy for not yelling at you for that. But I feel like that too. Maybe I've always loved you."  
  
He smiled, brushing a strand of hair from her face. "Gods you're beautiful when you're happy. I'd give my life, my fortune, everything, if only to see you happy for the rest of your life." He pulled her closer, feeling the fear in her leave.  
  
She smiled, feeling safe and warm in his embrace. "You know, this is the best Yule surprise I could have received." She kissed his cheek, placing a hand along his jawline.  
  
"Ahem."  
  
Both looked up in shock, blushing when they saw Albus.  
  
"We're in trouble, aren't we?" Severus asked, sheepish.  
  
"My dear boy, if it were different, then of course you'd be in trouble. But right now, I have a feeling that you both need eachother." He smiled down at them. "Besides, it's Christmas, isn't it?" He pointed to slightly above the younger man's head.  
  
Severus grinned. "What do you say, Hermione?" He gently kissed her when she looked up at him in confusion.  
  
Hermione relaxed after her innitial shock. "What was the question again?"  
  
"Finally a way to make you speechless. This might come in handy if we're ever in an argument." He grinned broadly, the effect making him look years younger.  
  
"I wonder if there's a charm that makes me imune to you." She giggled, cuddling next to him. "I'm going to need my wits about me, you know."  
  
Suddenly he tensed. "Headmaster, I need to leave."  
  
"Oh no. Please, be carefull?"  
  
He nodded, pale. "I love you, Hermione."  
  
"And you'll always have mine." She watched as he left, repeating the words like a mantra.  
  
"Miss Granger, if you'll please come with me?" Albus asked, smiling kindly at her.  
  
*****When your education x-ray cannot see under my skin.  
  
I won't tell you a damn thing that I could not tell my friends. Now roaming through this darkness I'm alive but I'm alone.  
  
Part of me is fighting this but part of me is gone.*****  
  
Hermione followed Albus up the stairs, but rather than heading to what she thought would be his office, they walked into an empty, deserted classroom. "What's going on?"  
  
"I'm sorry, Hermione, for what I've done to you in the past. But please, listen to me when I say I don't want to do this."  
  
"What are you talking about?"  
  
He sighed, checking her watch. "You'll see in a few seconds."  
  
She watched him, slowly retreating to the door. "Who are you?"  
  
Slowly the image of Albus Dumbledore blurred, then dissapeared altogether. "Hermione, you need to come with me." His eyes were sad as he looked at her.  
  
((Scene Change))  
  
Severus landed in a remote clearing, somewhere. "Hello?" For a second he thought he'd gone to the wrong place, but a cold, crawling sensation told him otherwise.  
  
"'"Welcome to my parlour", said the Spider to the Fly.' God how wonderfull it feels to have reached my goals, Severus. Please, sit."  
  
Severus slowly turned, looking calmly upon the face of Lord Voldemort. "Thank you, my lord. I see that the potion worked well." He sat in the offered chair, forcing himself to look relaxed.  
  
"It did, thank you. Have you developed a plan to catch Granger unaware?"  
  
"I-"  
  
"I've got my son working on it, my lord." Lucius walked into the clearing, smug.  
  
Severus controlled the urge to beat the man to bloody pulp. "You have? I hope it's a good plan, then."  
  
"It's something that even you wouldn't have thought up. The Granger mudblood-"  
  
"Kindly remember that she will be your queen, soon enough."  
  
"Sorry, my lord. She trusts that fool of a wizard Dumbledore more than she trusts herself. I simply sent my son, in a concealement charm and disguised as the headmaster."  
  
Severus sighed. "But you've forgotten one thing. Dumbledore no longer trusts me, so I've no clue what the password to his office is. When Draco leads her into some other area, she'll get suspicious."  
  
"Taken care of. One minute after he walks in, the concealment will dissapear. She may have brains, but not balls or braun. My son can easily over power her."  
  
Severus simply nodded. This was a stroke of genius, especially for the older Malfoy. "So, when does your plan take action."  
  
"It already has, Snape." There was a well timed 'pop' and Draco appeared, holding a struggling Hermione.  
  
Severus struggled to keep calm. "That was well timed, Malfoy."  
  
"Thank you."  
  
Voldemort stood, looking entranced upon Hermione. She was still in the white shirt and jeans she had been wearing earlier in the morning, her ice blue overrobes hanging open. "Even more beautiful than I could have immagined. Welcome, my dear." He took a hand, lightly kissing it.  
  
"Let me go, you spineless son of a snake." She struggled against Draco who growled, earning him a glare from Severus.  
  
"Flattery will get you somewhere, Hermione."  
  
She looked him over, noticing something different than the last time she saw him. He was still pale, but he had a long mane of dark hair, and he looked-human. "Something's changed."  
  
He slowly turned, grinning. "Like it? It's all because of a simple potion." He nodded to Severus, who nodded in return. "Take her to my chambers, Draco. Then report to your quarters."  
  
*****So hold me when I'm here right me when I'm wrong.  
  
Hold me when I'm scared and love me when I'm gone. Everything I am and everything in me.  
  
Wants to be the one you wanted me to be,*****  
  
Severus was waiting in the room he usually shared with the lanky teen. He growled as the boy walked in. "Tell me why I shouldn't rip your heart out right now?"  
  
"Because I just saved your ass. It wasn't my father who came up with the idea, it was me. I knew it was the only way." Draco sat down on the edge of his bed, pulling off his robes and boots. "Do you want to know the full plan, or do you just want to kill me?"  
  
"Full plan first, then I'll kill you, how about that?" Severus straddled a chair.  
  
Draco sighed, lighting a ciggarette. "And don't complain, I'm legal age."  
  
"Plan, now."  
  
"She's going to go along with his Lordship until Ginny, Weasly, and Potter manage to get their arses over here so they can defeat him." He blew a smoke ring, watching as Severus thought.  
  
"Pray that she doesn't get killed, Draco. Pray that she doesn't."  
  
((Scene change))  
  
Hermione slowly spun in the emerald and black gown. Her hair was elegantly pulled back, and adorned with a silver and black onyx hair piece.  
  
"You look lovely, my dear. You'd make a wonderful dark queen."  
  
"Thank you my lord," she replied, doing a small curtsy. "I must commend your seamstress." She sat down, the low cut offering a tantalizing view.  
  
"I managed to salvage some of your things after the Dementor attack on your family." He turned, glaring at nothing in particular. "Believe me when I say that I had nothing to do with that." He turned to look at her softly. "I would never do anything to intentionally hurt you."  
  
Her eyes took on a sad cast. "Who was it then?"  
  
"Krum and that fool of a rat, Wormtail." He snorted, his lean form straddling a chair, his arms folded across the back. "Both wanted you for your body. I found that rather appaling."  
  
"Figures the rat would. I was well aware of Krum's physicall attraction to me, though." She snorted, rather unladylike, and leaned back.  
  
"You have my assurances that I will never hurt you." He took her hand, meeting her eyes.  
  
For whatever reason, she mainted eye contact. She had to admit, there was more to him than anyone knew. It was almost as intense an experiance as when she fully met Severus' eyes for the first time. She smiled softly.  
  
((Scene change, minor time change))  
  
Draco swore. "They're early."  
  
"I'd think we'd be right on time," Ron replied, coming up. He glared at Draco.  
  
"Potter, Ginny. You know what to do?"  
  
They nodded, taking eachothers hands and not letting go.  
  
"I'll excort you two to his chambers." Severus turned, not bothering to see if they were behind him. After they were out of earshot of Draco and Ron, he spoke. "I don't care what Hermione is, let me deal with her." He turned, looking at them.  
  
"I understand, sir." Ginny nodded, a soft smile touching her blue eyes.  
  
*****I'll never let you down, even if I could.  
  
I'd give up everything, if only for your good. So hold me when I'm here, right me when I'm wrong,  
  
You can hold me when I'm scared, you won't always be there,  
  
So love me when I'm gone.*****  
  
Hermione sighed, moving her skirts, yet again.  
  
"Troubles, my dear?"  
  
"No, my lord."  
  
He smiled, sitting across from her. His smile was sad. "I do hope you forgive my rather rude behaviour earlier. But the only way to get Potter to destroy me is for him to think that some one he loves dearly is in danger." He sighed. "I would have chosen Virginia, but I fear she would not have understood."  
  
"I don't think I do, either"  
  
"Right now, I'm just Tom Marvalo Riddle. Lord Voldemort is an alter-my second personality. I'm afraid in wizards, S.P.D. is much worse. Voldemort is not aware of my presence, but I'm fully aware of him. For years I've built up my mental strength to take over, but he's still powerful." He paled. "What ever happens here, Voldemort needs to be destroyed, and I must go with him. You must leave, you'll find Severus waiting for you."  
  
"Was Draco in on this?"  
  
"Yes. He wittnessed me taking control. Tell him I said it was nice."  
  
She nodded, ignoring her tears. "Good luck." She stood, calmly walking out of the room.  
  
"Hermione!" She was swept up by a pair of strong arms, and nearly collapsed with relief. "Oh gods, are you allright?" Severus asked, holding her against him.  
  
"I'm fine." She nodded against his chest. "Where's Harry?"  
  
"Right here, with Ginny."  
  
"Ginny?"  
  
"Yes, Hermione?"  
  
The older girl pulled back, smiling. "Take care of Harry. I have a feeling you'll be able to keep him out of trouble better than I will."  
  
"Thanks Hermione." He mock glared at her, then squeezed Ginny's hand. "Ready, dove?"  
  
"As ready as I'll ever be." She took a deep breath.  
  
Hermione nodded at the two of them. "He's in there, where I just came from. He's waiting."  
  
"He knew we were coming?" Harry was nervous.  
  
"I'll explain later, Harry. Just get in there."  
  
He nodded, walking off.  
  
"He has the sword of Gryffindor with him," Hermione remarked.  
  
"Come on, let's go." He squeezed her shoulders.  
  
Hermione gasped, feeling a wave of pain hit her. "Where the hell did that come from?"  
  
"Look behind you, Mudblood."  
  
*****Maybe I'm just blind*****  
  
Both turned, seeing the older Malfoy holding Ron, and Draco pointing his wand at both of them.  
  
"Lucius."  
  
"Hand her over, Severus. There's no use trying to save your slut. She belongs to our lord now." Lucius smile was cold.  
  
"There's more to him than you'll ever know, bastard," Hermione spat out, suddenly furious.  
  
"What are you saying, Hermione?" Severus looked at her, shocked.  
  
"Just what I mean, Severus." She glared at Draco, who calmly turned his gaze from Severus to her. "Oh no."  
  
"Oh no what? Realise that you've just betrayed your friends?" Draco taunted.  
  
She ignored him, growling at Lucius. "You're own son, Lucius. For shame, surely you'd trust him more than that?"  
  
"What are you going on about, 'Mione? And why are you calling Snape 'Severus'?" Ron struggled, then growled as the older male pulled on his hair. "Watch the hair, arsehole."  
  
"Severus, give me your wand." But when he offered, looking rather puzzled, she just put her hand on it, as if asking for strength.  
  
"What are you doing?"  
  
"Do you trust me?" He just looked at her, perplexed. "Do you trust me?"  
  
"Yes." He looked deep into her eyes, and something he had told her earlier that day echoed through his head. 'I'd give my life, my fortune, everything, if only to see you happy for the rest of your life.' He sighed, thinking. 'Then so be it.'  
  
*****So hold me when I'm here right me when I'm wrong.  
  
Hold me when I'm scared and love me when I'm gone.  
  
Everything I am and everything in me,  
  
Wants to be the one you wanted me to be.*****  
  
Hermione watched him crumple as if from a far of place. "So this is it, Severus? I'm going to miss you." She turned around, calmly pointing at Draco.  
  
"So, go ahead and kill him, he was useless any way."  
  
"You know it dosn't take much to piss me of Lucius, but you've passed that point now." She motioned, and Draco shook his head.  
  
"What the bloody hell happened?"  
  
"Get Ron, Draco. It's time some one dealt with your father."  
  
Draco laughed, exctracting a shocked Ron from an even more shocked Lucius. "Don't hurt him too much? I still have my debt to pay him, and so does Mum."  
  
"Right now, I don't think that's on option."  
  
Draco sighed, proding Ron in the back to get him to walk.  
  
"Oh, I'm scared. A little girl that doesn't even have a wand." Lucius taunted. He pointed his wand at her, and green light shot out of it.  
  
"That the best you can do?" Hermione asked, after the cloud enveloped her. A gentle wind came up, and the light was blown away like mist. She pointed at him, and immediately a dark cloud left him, dissipated by the now stronger wind.  
  
Lucius crumpled to the ground, never to rise.  
  
*****I'll never let you down even if I could.  
  
I'd give up everything if only for your good.  
  
So hold me when I'm here right me when I'm wrong.  
  
You can hold me when I'm scared, you won't always be there.  
  
So love me when I'm gone, love me when I'm gone.*****  
  
"So what do we do now?" Draco asked when Hermione returned to normal.  
  
"Wait, explain. I have a feeling that Ron and Severus deserve one."  
  
"You would stick up for fire hair."  
  
Hermione stuck her toungue out at him.  
  
"What happened?" Severus sat up, putting a hand to his head.  
  
"Sorry about that, I was wandless and Lucius was really starting to annoy me." Hermione helped him sit up, letting him lean against her.  
  
"What did you do?"  
  
"I kind of let my heart guide me." She grinned sheepishly, giving him a big hug. "I'm just glad you're allright."  
  
"Me too. That hurt."  
  
"Sorry."  
  
"So what's going on? I never quite figured that out." Ron looked between Draco, Hermione, and Severus.  
  
"Well, first off, Hermione and I had to make you two believe that she was wanted-both emotionally and physically-by Voldemort."  
  
"Yeah, I kind of figured that when she yelled some thing at Malfoy."  
  
"It seems that Voldemort was just an alternate personality. A vindictive, mean, and deadly one." Hermione tucked her lugs under her, looking down. "When wizards get multiple personalities, it's not that pleasent.  
  
"I figured that." Ron sighed. "So who are his other alters?"  
  
"Just Tom, who was the original personality. Just the opposite of Voldemort. Kind, caring. Not afraid of sacrifice."  
  
"So, who knew?"  
  
"Draco, he's the one who orchastrated my 'kidnap', remember. I found out when Tom told me."  
  
Ron looked horrified. "And you trusted him?"  
  
"Yes. You forget I'm no stranger to betrayal."  
  
Severus put an arm around her shoulders. "I think all of us here are no strangers to betrayal."  
  
"So, now that everything's been explained, what do we do?" Ron looked at the stone cieling.  
  
"Wait." Draco lay down, immediately going to sleep. Ron decided that was a good idea, and was soon asleep himself, propped up against the wall.  
  
"I never got the chance to say thank you." Hermione whispered, snuggling closer.  
  
"Thank you? For what?" He looked down at her, confused.  
  
"For loving me. For trusting me." She smiled up at him. "And for letting me love you."  
  
"I guess you're welcome then." He grinned, pulling her into his lap. "I don't quite think we got finished this morning." He leaned down, kissing her.  
  
Hermione sighed. She gave him everything, her heart, her soul, and her life, and she had recieved the same in return. She could imagine no one she'd rather be with for the rest of her life. "You know, the real Dumbledore and Professor McGonnagall are going to kill us," she said quitely. "And to tell you the truth, I don't care, as long as I'm with you."  
  
He grinned, placing his head against hers. "I can think of no one else to spend eternity with."  
  
Suddenly she looked just past his shoulder. "Severus look!"  
  
"I'm not that surprised." The ghost form of a much younger Tom Riddle floated a few feet away, smiling. "Take care, you two. And rest asured that Voldemort is no longer."  
  
Hermione smiled, watching as his ghost from drifted away. "And now I know we can be together."  
  
"Which reminds me." They spun, and for the second time that day, came face to face with a smiling Albus.  
  
"You're the real Albus, right?" Severus asked, raising an eyebrow.  
  
"Yes, I'm the real one. Draco's still asleep."  
  
"Oh. Then we're in big trouble, aren't we?" Hermione asked.  
  
"No. I meant to tell you this earlier, Miss Granger, but I don't think I got the chance to as the ministry called me away so suddenly." He smiled down at her. "You've satisfied all the requirements for graduation, and the first night back from the holdays will be a feast to celebrate your early graduation."  
  
Hermione jumped up, giving the much older man a hug.  
  
"Easy child." He gently pushed her back and smiled at Severus. "Besides, I know Severus will take good care of you."  
  
The younger man stood, grinning. "Thank you, sir." He took Hermione by the hands. "I know this is sudden, but-" He kneeled, and she gasped. "Would I have the honor of sharing my life with a beautiful young woman?"  
  
"Professor, can you repeat that? I think I had wax in my ears." Ron was wide awake, and looking as if he had just walked in on two spiders procreating. (AN: Couldn't resist-it's a long joke about the words procreating between me and my friends.)  
  
Hermione looked down at him. "Of course." She smiled, embracing him.  
  
"We missed something, Ginny. And I think I know what it was." Harry and Ginny walked out, looking exausted but pleased. "Congratulations, Hermione. I'm going to miss you."  
  
"What ever says I'm leaving Hogwarts?" She smiled, leaning against Severus.  
  
"I hope you graduate over the winter, then."  
  
"As a matter of fact, I am." She laughed as his expression turned from shock to delight.  
  
***********************************************************************  
  
=) Thanks for reading. I just let my muse run wild with this one. Mystic does it again! 


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